Christa Bell

Sunday, January 08, 2006

I Wish I Could Quit You: On Brokeback Mountain

And How Homophobia Is Killing Black Women

saw brokeback mountain last night and, all hollywood hype aside, it was an amazingly touching tragedy about love and the culture of love in the american patriarchy.

a few weeks ago aaron mcgrude, my favorite cartoonist and creator of "the boondocks" comic strip ran a story line that had granddad (the conservative grandfather to huey, the black- nationalist, revolutionary, socialist grade-schooler who is the main character of the strip) craving a masculine, macho, good ol' boy kind of movie. he saw the previews to brokeback mountain and decided that it was about time there was a good old fashioned manly picture he could go see. he invites his neighbor tom, who is also black, to see the film with him and the strip shows the two of them marching to the theatre and preparing themselves to watch a movie that they repeatedly refer to as manly. meanwhile, huey is kind of like, um, are you SURE you want to see this film??

so they go to the movies and of course, the joke is that both granddad and tom are mortified that the picture is really about two cowboys who fall in love with each other. it culminates with grandad screaming at the screen, that's not manly!!!!

when i told my mom that i was going to see it she said, oh! me too! i've been wanting to go, maybe we could go together! and i was more direct than huey was with granddad. i told her that it was about a love story between two men and she was shocked and disgusted and, like, i'm glad you told me! and then something to the effect that she would never go see it and then, america is going to hell with gasoline panties on...

after the movie, i went out with a friend, also a black man, who is one of the most progressive men that i know. i came out of the theatre gushing about how beautiful and sad the movie was and he was visibly uncomfortable even discussing it let alone seeing it.

the night before, in new jeresey, i was out with a group of black folk, among whom was a man who's views about homosexuality, specifically among men, were so primitive as to be dangerous in general, but very specifically, i decided, to black women. to illustrate, during the course of our conversation about homosexuality in the black community, he called homosexuals; fuck'n flowers, doo doo chasers, cream puffs, yodels, ass mongers, bull daggers, carpet munchers, box chower's and, because of my defense of them which included outing myself as bisexual, christa bell's.

although the above sounds very hateful in the telling, his delivery was actually very comedic and everyone at the table, although shaking their heads at his insulting language, also laughed, if reluctantly, with him. several of the women dismissed him as homophobic and refused to engage with him about the matter. i, on the other hand, and perhaps irrationally, blamed him and his attitude as the main reason that black women have the highest new incidence rate of HIV infection in america. the climate of homophobia in the black community has made it such that the "DL" or "Down Low", the phenomenon where black men are sleeping with other men and with their wives and girlfriends at the same time, is so common that among heterosexual black women, there are entire cities and states that are considered absolutely unsafe to meet and have a relationship with a man in. these men do not consider themselves gay, as they do not lead a "gay lifestyle", they are just "men who sleep with men". unfortuanately they are doing it without protection and coming back and infecting black women with disease...and on and on and on...but here's the thing:

how do pro sex black people have zero tolerance for homophobia without isolating the majority of the community. when telling my zero tolerance girlfriend about the above conversation, she immediately shut down emotionally, got extremely judgemental about the man cracking jokes about gay people, called him an asshole and rudely cut our conversation short about the matter saying something to the effect that she didn't want to be traumatized by this mans ignorance...and i guess that's one way for black people who believe themselves progressive, to deal with homophobia. but isn't that just as dangerous as the out and out gay bashing?

am thinking about this today...more later...cbell

7 Comments:

  • At 10:40 AM, Blogger Mahogany L. Browne said…

    amen and aWOman - have fun in MA :)

     
  • At 9:44 PM, Blogger unsaid said…

    nice post. I always get a DL vibe from men who are overly homophobic, like they are trying to hard to cover it up.

     
  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger Christa Bell said…

    praz,
    i agree with you that black men are often used as the scapegoat for many things in this culture. however, according to the CDC http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/facts/women.htm
    67% of ALL NEW AIDS DIAGNOSES IN THIS COUNTRY ARE COMPRISED OF BLACK WOMEN!!! pair that with 34% of african american men who admit to having sex with men(msm)and with the fact that,80% of infections among AA women are caused by HETEROSEXUAL CONTACT!

    this is not to say that AA women are not also infected by other means, i.e. unprotected sex, sharing drug para. etc. but it's also very real that BLACK MEN who do not disclose their sexual practices are having unsafe sex with both MSM and gay men (i.e. high risk for infection groups) and infecting black women.

    my issue is very specifically with how the black community refuses to deal openly with homosexuality. the culture of "don't ask don't tell" is a very real cause of HIV infection in black women. ideally, a black man could tell a black woman that he sleeps with other men and

    and, by the way, the incidence of women contracting HIV from other women is so rare as to not have a statistic assigned to it by the CDC, and when women who do sleep with women do pass on HIV to another woman it's because of other unsafe activity she is participating in (i.e. sex with infected men, sharing needles etc.) women who have sex with women do not generally have an impact on the rate of hiv infection among black women.

     
  • At 11:26 AM, Blogger Phoenix said…

    girl, there is so much i could say about this here post. yes. is the most important thing right now. i've been having similar conversations with some other friends who seem to be obsessed with 'who's gay in hollywood' debates. it's astonding how long straight-identified folk will spend talking about who might be 'worse' than they are. (i'm talking 30+ mins girl which to me is absolutely ridiculous, especially if there's not discourse about legislation or change or progress.) gossip just gets on my nerves. and why the f*ck is it that big of a deal anyway? why is it yo business?

    it's also irritating, narrow-minded, homophobic and destructive. i'm always that voice bringing reason into the conversation, but i'm not interested in having cyclic conversations until someone else gets it and decides to wake up.

    anyway, good job honey. i hope your tour is wonder-filled. (i came to the mirabu room but you had already come and gone.) i look forward to your homecoming. maybe we can finally get together soon.

    love,

    L'Erin

     
  • At 2:46 AM, Blogger Copasetic Soul said…

    wow, hot topic....preach on sista cause you make valid points

    i do have one comment....its seems as if the whole nation has jumped on the black "dl" men issue but where are the comments about the white "dl" men. even after a movie addressing the issue come out... people are still silent.

    as an african-american male, i feel as if "we" have once again being singled out to be discredited to scare people. its like showing only black men as pimps. when we know white men are pimps as well (but shhhh, dont tell anyone).

     
  • At 11:09 AM, Blogger CousinSarah said…

    Praz and Copa--Well I would also add that there in some ways is less fear for white men to be out. I mean there is homophobia across the board, but there is also a much stronger vocal reaction in the black community. So, while I agree to some point the media exploits the idea of DL, the culture of homophobia is very strong in the black community period, not only making them openly oppressed by the majority, but then likely to be rejected from the community in which they "belong." Now, that is not to say that white people dont have to be afraid of homophobia--cause as with anything, white "ists" people often feel justified in thier violence and such against groups they see as subhuman, less than, etc. But, white men are not being DOUBLY austrisized....my two cents.

    Christa--I have been turned onto you by my mentor 13, and I am so thankful I have. Reading your blog is inspiring and helps me to continue to feel that there are others who are just as passionate. I am very excited you will be coming to Austin. I heard your Hip Hop Hates Women peice today and am bowing before you right now. :) Please be sure to spit that peice when you come...and I will try to control myself. :)

     
  • At 11:01 AM, Blogger gumball said…

    This sounds very sad.

    I hope women can find husbands that don't practice any infidelity (homo or heterosexual). That is unacceptable. Spreading HIV is very bad. I hope that these men can be more careful with their sexual practices or they and their kind will become more and more of a minority; you can't forever spread terminal illness in a society. One day the society crumbles away into a society that is stronger.

     

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